Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
