Porn is love you can see.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
