just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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