But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
