Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
