I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The air taste purple.
Randomize
