East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I would fuck him just for his dog
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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