He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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