"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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