So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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