And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
