Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
