Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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