Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
