ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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