question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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