Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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