I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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