just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
