i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Houston, we have a blender
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Randomize
