Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
