i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
