Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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