My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
PANTIES FOUND
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