If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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