your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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