Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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