so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
