We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
