WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
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