i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
