i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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