I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
