last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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