I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
