omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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