I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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