thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
