I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
