I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
