Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
