i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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