Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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