I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
