one two three fourrrrnication!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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