good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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