I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize