thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
