D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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