YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
