College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
