Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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