Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
