I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
